I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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