Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize