the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
