He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it glows. i had to have it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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