Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.

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(805): View more from California

It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!

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(501): View more from Arkansas

DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW

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(775): View more from Nevada

If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.

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(+61): View more from Australia

we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...

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