It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
