I wish life had little blips of pornography
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize