VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
