I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When are your genitals available?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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