I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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