1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
