To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
