Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
