dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
