If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
