I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
