happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
