i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
