I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
