Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
