Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
