I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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