Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I want a musical about memes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize