If that was your dad, he is hot
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I met the friendliest cop last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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