hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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