Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i love accidental penises.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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