Do vagina's smell?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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