If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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