I'm lost and stupid without you.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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