Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
