There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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