she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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