i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
