Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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