Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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