this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
