I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
