Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this will be a night to untag.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
