he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
