Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
