he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
