how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
