You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
