East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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