Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
