if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
