She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
