so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
