So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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