Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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