I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
