No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
