It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
