Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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