I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize