before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
