Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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